I guess once in a while i still visit this place. Trying to read back and see what could had been done better.
I think somehow tonight was set perfectly well for a new post with deep thoughts running through. Quiet and peaceful, though a bit tired but the mind is still functioning well for a post.
Seeing how a friend got through his dream, though yet to fully accomplish is a good step ahead. Indeed, to step out of the zone and challenge yourself further. What is a better way to prove to yourself?
I looked back and kind of regret the result gotten. Perhaps a little effort back then, I would had been better off. Perhaps even now, I would had been able to get to the one I truly hope to get in. Though it is kind of easy to accept the rejection but still, it only filled with guilt that efforts put out could have been much more. Maybe a little luck would have help too but then it is just that little to be insignificant to be considered.
I guess i should not complain much cos post life is still not as bad. Though it was not the first choice but still I guess I made the best out of it and enjoyed it thoroughly. Like what was told during one of those HTHT talk, it is indeed pleasing to hear that ppl can see that I have grown, not just a bit but to the point he feel at ease to even let go and let me decide. Of cos I understand despite all this, deep down the confidence is not as high or should I say I am still hiding behind the shadow whenever possible. But how long can I hide?
I guess not long now. 9 more days to the day we are going to be left defending for ourselves till the next guardian come in. But then, will it be a guardian or a troublemaker?
I relish the challenge ahead to deal with it without a guardian but still, I guess I am still too young to fully assume more responsibility than what I am already covering. perhaps a year more or so, I will dare say let me try and do it.
Aside, the daily challenge is set to come on 17 Oct. But the few other challenges are there to stay with no certainty.
1) I guess I really going to give it a try yearly. Even if it going to mean rejection each time. Is not that I do not believe in private, but i really hope for another shot in a local one.
2) The will is there but the physical is not. I guess training 2 weeks but to lose out to aching for days is bad. I tried to push by going on but perhaps it is the long stagnation previously which result in this getting older body to be slow in recovery. Still, we shall see in the near future if things can be improve even for the smallest margin.
3) I guess I am really pushing myself in this and surprisingly the result is amazing. A 2 fold success despite not really living in thriftiness. This shows if I want to do it, it can be even better. Now i am always closer to getting myself a reward without really putting a dent to my bigger plan.
People grow old wiser and more mature. But there are some traits which will always be there to determine a person. Even if the traits become not obvious as previously, they are still in it.
” A mind at peace, a mind centered and not focused on harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe.”
-Wayne Dyer
